One of the shining qualities of Enneagram 2s is that they selflessly meet the needs of the people around them, becoming a strong source of support and care. They at times can function like some sort of task metal detector, roaming the earth waiting for the signal to go off revealing a way they could be of help to someone. The down side is that if a 2 begins to over-help, more and more they lose touch with their personal needs. They may come to depend on the appreciation of others for their sense of self, and their own needs become increasingly unmet and out of sight.
As they are oriented to the needs of others more than their own, the awareness of their needs is not as strong. When a 2 has needs that go unmet for a long period of time they may become demanding, resentful, and depleted. To start reversing that process requires presence in the here and now and mindfulness. A centered, inward oriented 2 is the antidote to a reactive 2 jumping at every chance to be of service. How to develop that sense of inward presence?
- Pause before meeting a need. Evaluate whether this is a need you truly should be meeting. Will this effort be appreciated? Will my investment be worth the result? Are there others I love that meeting this need will negatively affect? Is there something I need for myself that needs to be attended to first?
- Be you in your relationships. Do your friends and loved ones experience you? Or do they experience only your acts of love and support? There is more to who you are- your hopes, dreams, interests, and even dislikes. Share them.
- Get to 50/50 (or close to it). Good relationships are give and take. There will be some relationships in your life, like with your children or employees, where you are giving more and receiving less. Otherwise though, be sure that the connection is balanced.
2s make the world a more caring and connected place. The rest of us deeply appreciate their investment in our lives. When a 2 can give only when appropriate and from deep, inward presence, everyone benefits.