In honor of February, I am doing a short blog series on Getting the Love You Want. 3 weeks long, we will be talking about getting more love through investing wisely, appreciating more, and receiving more. Let’s start with invest wisely- here is what I mean.
I once heard a wise woman giving advice about networking say “if within 5 minutes of talking to someone at an event they don’t shift the conversation to be about you, politely move on”. Golden advice! You can know and trust someone’s initial reaction to you. Givers always want to know at least as much about you as you do about them. This is the single best piece of advice I have ever received about business networking.
The same is true for relationships. There is nothing more disheartening than pouring out connection and investment in someone who just doesn’t show up for you in the same way. Those of us who may feel depleted and that we don’t have the love and support we want in our lives, this usually has to do with where we are investing our love. What would you expect to have happen if the best of you went to self centered “taker” types, attention monsters who keep saying “more more more” but offered little in return? Often those of us that have the most to give end up in these relationships doing most of the work.
To start getting more love in your life, follow these steps below.
Take an honest inventory of your current relationships. Where are you fulfilled? Where are you frustrated? Focus on those places where you are experiencing frustration. What are you investing in those relationships, and what are you getting back?
Consider giving less. Understand me here, there are times where it is inappropriate to stop giving to someone such as with your children or employees for example. However, if you find yourself with a number of unbalanced relationships where you are doing most of the work, it may be time to take a step back. Consider matching the investment of the other person. Their reaction will tell you everything you need to know- if they become angry, that reveals they see you as someone whose role it is to give to them. If they circle back and become more generous with their time and energy, your efforts likely are restoring balance to the relationship.
Choose your investments more carefully. Just as you would research any sort of financial investment you might make, be discerning about where your time and energy go. Be sure that those who need and deserve it most get the best of you.
Get more love in your life-start by making room for it. Invest wisely!