The people who go through life often feeling the most alone and unloved are the ones who haven’t mastered the art of receiving from others. How often have you blocked out the care someone else has sent your way? This can be something small like pooh-poohing a compliment, all the way up to refusing offers of help or support when we are vulnerable.
That is what makes this so difficult- receiving puts us in a position of vulnerability. We may have the fear that if we accept something from someone, we may owe them later. We want to maintain a position of power and influence, and that means being the giver not the taker. If you are naturally more of a giver, this is seriously hard work. Here is how to start to work at it:
Accept compliments. You’ve heard this one and probably quite often. It might take work, but allow one extra beat for their words to sink in. Don’t deflect, don’t block. Say thank you.
Look at the needs in your life, and ask for help. The people that love you want to show it to you. Sometimes they need to be told how to do so. Each of us has a responsibility to teach those we are close to how to love us better.
Notice where you are feeling uncomfortable or vulnerable. It may be this is a flashing green light pointing in the direction where you need to receive (and ask for) more.
Confession- this is a blog where I definitely need to take my own advice. My husband and I will be moving this weekend. I’ve always said you find out who your true friends are when you have to move or when you get married- both events tend to weed out those who aren’t interested in being inconvenienced for you. I’ve agonized more than once about whether to even let people know we would like a hand. I think I don’t want to find out my friends aren’t as loving as I think they are, and I certainly don’t want to inconvenience them for such a boring chore. The reality is though, if some people do come (and I know they will), sitting amongst all our boxes when they leave I will be filled with gratitude and a sense of being loved that I otherwise wouldn’t have.
Join me in taking that next step in front of you to allowing more love in.