Enneagram style speak- how do the different types communicate and want to be communicated with? This week we are discussing style 1- the Reformer, or the Perfectionist as they are sometimes called. We will cover 1) how this style communicates at work and home 2) how to speak their language at work and home 3) what they need most from us.
Generally Style 1 communicates in a teaching style. They are oriented toward discovering and propagating the correct approach the life so they want to share that with others. On the positive side, this comes across as distributing wisdom from lessons learned. They usually have a measured way of speaking, as they choose their words carefully (to ensure they have chosen the right one!). If this style gets exaggerated, it can come across as lecturing or talking down.
The best way to speak to a 1 is to share their values and take a problem solving approach. 1s generally like to attack an issue in a reasoned and dispassionate way and will become frustrated if you do not share this approach. They want to discuss things like adults and find the right way forward. Your communication should reference the values you have in common with the 1 around rightness or the best way to do something and start from there. If your ideas differ, partner with them to find a solution you both consider to be effective.
What they need most from you- they need you to share their values. Come alongside and care about what they care about- doing things well, correctly and with care. Also, admit if mistakes have been made! This sets their world right again and is important to build the connection between you.
Those of you out there that are style 1s or have to communicate with them frequently, any tips you would like to share?