The way we communicate is a great indicator as to what Enneagram style we fall into. When vocalize our needs we tend to speak at a certain pace, inflect a certain emotion, choose gestures to match our communication, and have a certain tone and pitch to our voices–all in a way that generally fits into our type within the Enneagram.
Last week we talked about the Style 4 and how they are expressive and self referential when they speak, communicate about pain and the emotional experience, and are looking for someone on the receiving end to understand them. You can read more about that here.
Today in this video we explore the communication style of the Enneagram 3, The Achiever. How: 1).The 3 communicates at work and home; 2). How to speak their language of a 3 at work and home; and 3). What 3 needs the most from us. Watch the video for a detailed account of the communication style of the 3.
How the 3 Communicates
The way a Style 3 communicates is positive and forward-moving. They want to focus on how to make things better than they are today and get things headed that direction. You may notice that they reference successes (either their own or others) in their conversation with you. 3’s notice positive stories of accomplishment and will often include these in their communication with you.
How to Speak The Language of a 3
To speak the 3’s language, be positive and growth oriented. Join them in valuing what works, what works quickly, and what would be an impressive solution to a given problem. Be careful of dwelling on any negative topic for too much time, most 3s have a low threshold for pain or negativity.
What a 3 Needs Most From You
For a 3 to thrive they need approval. 3s are always looking to impress the audience, and in this case the audience is you! Be sure that you are a positive and supportive audience that is cheering them on, not a sour audience that is frowning and booing their performance. If the 3 notices that you are receiving them positively, that can only help the quality of your communication.
Those of you out there that are style 3 or have to communicate with them frequently, any tips you would like to share?
Enneagram Communication Series: Style Speak
Advice For Enneagram 3s
The Competency Group- 1, 3, 5